22 Phrases Bullies Use to Gaslight You and Make You Question Your Reality


It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters are good for.

When bullying progresses to a point when you feel like you have to wear a body camera to work or school to get evidence of what bullies are putting you through, that’s when you know without a doubt, you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.

And sometimes, things may get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera to work or school. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered. Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend knows you’re wearing it. That way, you risk less of a chance of retaliation, or your evidence being tampered with or destroyed.

But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, and your bullies realize they’ve been busted, they will then continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, paranoid, or crazy.

But to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, here are a few common things gaslighters tell their targets:

  1. “You’re too sensitive.”
  2. “You’re make something out of nothing.”
  3. “I never said that.”
  4. “I don’t remember saying that.”
  5. “I’m not angry. If I was angry, you’d know it.”
  6. “It’s all your fault.”
  7. “You bring it all on yourself.”
  8. “Well, if you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have done that.”
  9. “You made me do it.”
  10. “You’re crazy.”
  11. “You’re mentally unstable.”
  12. “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”
  13. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
  14. “This is why nobody likes you.”
  15. “You’re being petty.”
  16. “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
  17. “You can’t take a joke!”
  18. “You’re insecure.”
  19. “You’re jealous.”
  20. “It’s all in your mind.”
  21. “It’s all a figment of your imagination.”
  22. “If you love me, you’ll do this.”

And the list goes on and on.

Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself against these psychos, and doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it. It also requires that you maintain your sense of self and if you did not do anything to provoke these bullies, stand strong and never let them twist the facts and accuse you otherwise.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

56 thoughts on “22 Phrases Bullies Use to Gaslight You and Make You Question Your Reality

  1. So very true! I love the blatant statements gaslighters will say, “classic behavior” “this person is” and I love “it appears” and “it seems” followed by their gaslighting words! Yes, I wore a body cam to work and I had it front and center on my chest so it wouldn’t be missed that I was wearing it. I wanted people to know I had it. I also took video’s from the camera system in the building showing the actions of my bullies. I used any resource I had access too to show the Bullying that was done to me. In the end, it didn’t matter, the legal system in Ontario allowed them to walk away from accountability.

  2. Pingback: 22 Phrases Bullies Use to Gaslight You and Make You Question Your Reality – Tonya LaLonde

  3. Looks like you’ve listened in on my marriage and wrote down all my now ex told me……. Damn! And I was thinking I had a good marriage. Yeah, until she had what she wanted and then I had served my goal 😔. Thanks for sharing this and bringing awareness to this.

      • Thank you! Yeah, I never thought much about it at the time… It took a divorce and a few years to recognize things were kinda messed up behind closed doors. 😔 Thank you! 🤗

        • Absolutely. You usually see it a lot more clearly once your out of the relationship. I went through a divorce in 1999 and the guy I married just a year before was a real creep! I look back now and I see all the red flags I missed.

          • I’m sorry you went through this as well… I only want to leave it behind me and I’m struggling with that. The nightmares still make me feel like I did back then 😔. I finally reached out and have a MH appointment Friday. Hope she’ll be able to help me overcome… Your posts do give me some better insight, for which I’m grateful. 🤗

          • My heart goes out to you. It can be very difficult to leave it behind because trauma can cause flashbacks. It is my hope that your appointment and those thereafter will be successful in opening the door for you to move on and reach your best life yet. Lord knows you deserve happiness and peace of mind, sweetie. And therapy is a great tool to reach it!

          • Thanks! And I thought I had gone through the worst, but now it’s back to haunt me.
            I really hope the MH lady is able to help me or maybe refer me to someone who can if she can’t…
            Thanks so much for your kindness and support 🌸

          • Thanks! I’ll check it out, see if it’s called the same here or maybe goes by a translated name. I’ll surely ask my therapist about it on Friday, if she doesn’t mention it herself. Thanks!

          • I have read up on it, and I should be insured for it (which was a main concern). The MH worker I’ll see Friday will need to assess me and if she deems me a candidate for it, she’ll have to refer me. If I get accepted and get the emdr through these channels, I’m covered. 😊 Thanks again! ♥ 🌸

          • I will surely wrirw about it! Hopefully I’ll know a wee bit more next Friday. But I guess she’ll need to ask me all the questions first before making such a decision. 😊 So time will hopefully tell something good!

      • Sadly so. Like many people I thought it was circumstances in their lives which turned them out that way, but I’ve come to observe kids doing it too. I’m not convinced that terrible things happened to them, it rather they emulate those who they admire.

        I’ve seen that happening with a particular young lady. She wasn’t abused herself but she has had two stepmothers and an aunt who are that way, and they manipulate people around them to get what they want. She doesn’t like hard work but prefers to get her way through emotionally manipulative ways.

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    • Absolutely! Many bullies know how to bully so subtly that the target doesn’t realize they’re being bullied, which is completely normal. Thank you so much for sharing this because you’re in good company! 💖

  5. Gut wrenching that people are so horrible. It’s not surprising because I have experienced similar things myself but it is ridiculous and it’s awful.

  6. I stumbled upon this one and I’m glad I did. I love that you’re spreading awareness about common gaslighting phrases abusive people use. Had someone stumble on my blog lately and tell me that my content isn’t “me” and they won’t be back. LOL It almost made me wonder if it’s someone I know, or used to know. It felt so targeted. But I notice a lot of gaslighters like to say that you’re not being “you”, especially if it’s a toxic family member. :S

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