It’s funny how protecting yourself from bullies can be twisted into over-sensitivity, paranoia, vindictiveness, or vengefulness. But that’s exactly what bullies, or, in this case, gaslighters are good for.
When bullying progresses to a point when you feel like you have to wear a body camera to work or school to get evidence of what bullies are putting you through, that’s when you know without a doubt, you’re being gaslighted. So, it’s most important that you trust those feelings.
And sometimes, things may get so out of control that you may need to wear a body camera to work or school. And when you do, make sure you catch it raw and unfiltered. Also, be sure no one, not even your best friend knows you’re wearing it. That way, you risk less of a chance of retaliation, or your evidence being tampered with or destroyed.
But realize that once the evidence is out, whether it comes out in court, and your bullies realize they’ve been busted, they will then continue to gaslight you, especially to others. They’ll accuse you of being sneaky, shady, scandalous, paranoid, or crazy.
But to catch gaslighting early on, before you ever have to wear a body camera, here are a few common things gaslighters tell their targets:
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “You’re make something out of nothing.”
- “I never said that.”
- “I don’t remember saying that.”
- “I’m not angry. If I was angry, you’d know it.”
- “It’s all your fault.”
- “You bring it all on yourself.”
- “Well, if you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have done that.”
- “You made me do it.”
- “You’re crazy.”
- “You’re mentally unstable.”
- “Nobody’s ever going to love you.”
- “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
- “This is why nobody likes you.”
- “You’re being petty.”
- “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”
- “You can’t take a joke!”
- “You’re insecure.”
- “You’re jealous.”
- “It’s all in your mind.”
- “It’s all a figment of your imagination.”
- “If you love me, you’ll do this.”
And the list goes on and on.
Realize that no matter how you do it, you absolutely must protect yourself against these psychos, and doing so requires that you know gaslighting when you hear it or see it. It also requires that you maintain your sense of self and if you did not do anything to provoke these bullies, stand strong and never let them twist the facts and accuse you otherwise.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
I could easily have written a similar list…it never ends 😓
Sadly, no it doesn’t. 😞
Interesting
Thank you. 😊🤗
mine pleasure dear
So very true! I love the blatant statements gaslighters will say, “classic behavior” “this person is” and I love “it appears” and “it seems” followed by their gaslighting words! Yes, I wore a body cam to work and I had it front and center on my chest so it wouldn’t be missed that I was wearing it. I wanted people to know I had it. I also took video’s from the camera system in the building showing the actions of my bullies. I used any resource I had access too to show the Bullying that was done to me. In the end, it didn’t matter, the legal system in Ontario allowed them to walk away from accountability.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and the system ignored it, Stella. Sadly, that happens a lot when bullies happened to be in a “protected class.”
I have been told they are working on changing the Criminal Code of Canada to include CyberBullying and online harassment for the past 4 yrs, yet nothing has been done yet. I not sure they ever will….
I don’t think they will either because of the politics.
no, I have come to see that myself… If they did that, they would also have to stop some of the things they do! 🙂
Bingo!!! 💯💯💯
So bullies exist in real life WOW
Of course they do. 💯
Boy have I heard a lot of them and in my younger years it worked too.
I can relate! 💯
Looks like you’ve listened in on my marriage and wrote down all my now ex told me……. Damn! And I was thinking I had a good marriage. Yeah, until she had what she wanted and then I had served my goal 😔. Thanks for sharing this and bringing awareness to this.
You’re so welcome, Cynni. I’m sorry your partner treated you so horrifically. 💔
Thank you! Yeah, I never thought much about it at the time… It took a divorce and a few years to recognize things were kinda messed up behind closed doors. 😔 Thank you! 🤗
Absolutely. You usually see it a lot more clearly once your out of the relationship. I went through a divorce in 1999 and the guy I married just a year before was a real creep! I look back now and I see all the red flags I missed.
I’m sorry you went through this as well… I only want to leave it behind me and I’m struggling with that. The nightmares still make me feel like I did back then 😔. I finally reached out and have a MH appointment Friday. Hope she’ll be able to help me overcome… Your posts do give me some better insight, for which I’m grateful. 🤗
My heart goes out to you. It can be very difficult to leave it behind because trauma can cause flashbacks. It is my hope that your appointment and those thereafter will be successful in opening the door for you to move on and reach your best life yet. Lord knows you deserve happiness and peace of mind, sweetie. And therapy is a great tool to reach it!
Thanks! And I thought I had gone through the worst, but now it’s back to haunt me.
I really hope the MH lady is able to help me or maybe refer me to someone who can if she can’t…
Thanks so much for your kindness and support 🌸
Try EMDR when you go to therapy. EMDR works wonders for trauma and C-PTSD.
Thanks! I’ll check it out, see if it’s called the same here or maybe goes by a translated name. I’ll surely ask my therapist about it on Friday, if she doesn’t mention it herself. Thanks!
Please do. It helped me and worked like a charm!
It’s called the same here. Reading up on it now, sounds very interesting. Thank you for the tip! And I’m glad it helped you 🤗
You’re very welcome, Cynni! 💖💕
I have read up on it, and I should be insured for it (which was a main concern). The MH worker I’ll see Friday will need to assess me and if she deems me a candidate for it, she’ll have to refer me. If I get accepted and get the emdr through these channels, I’m covered. 😊 Thanks again! ♥ 🌸
You’re very welcome. Please keep me updated. 💖
I will surely wrirw about it! Hopefully I’ll know a wee bit more next Friday. But I guess she’ll need to ask me all the questions first before making such a decision. 😊 So time will hopefully tell something good!
Absolutely! Wishing you the best!
This list can be translated into any language and we’d see that they operate with the same script everywhere! It’s like it’s inborn in them! 😕😕💔💔
I totally agree! Many bullied are just naturally scumbags!
Sadly so. Like many people I thought it was circumstances in their lives which turned them out that way, but I’ve come to observe kids doing it too. I’m not convinced that terrible things happened to them, it rather they emulate those who they admire.
I’ve seen that happening with a particular young lady. She wasn’t abused herself but she has had two stepmothers and an aunt who are that way, and they manipulate people around them to get what they want. She doesn’t like hard work but prefers to get her way through emotionally manipulative ways.
Absolutely right! 💯 They watch others doing it and learn from them. Awesome observation! Thank you so much for your thoughts. 😊
😞😞
Now that I’m reading your blog I understand how many times i was bullied. Way too many
Absolutely! Many bullies know how to bully so subtly that the target doesn’t realize they’re being bullied, which is completely normal. Thank you so much for sharing this because you’re in good company! 💖
Thank You for sharing!!
You’re very welcome! 🙂
This is just so true. Thanks for posting
You’re most welcome! 😊
Gut wrenching that people are so horrible. It’s not surprising because I have experienced similar things myself but it is ridiculous and it’s awful.
Yes it is, sweetie! Bullies and gaslighters are truly pathetic!
I stumbled upon this one and I’m glad I did. I love that you’re spreading awareness about common gaslighting phrases abusive people use. Had someone stumble on my blog lately and tell me that my content isn’t “me” and they won’t be back. LOL It almost made me wonder if it’s someone I know, or used to know. It felt so targeted. But I notice a lot of gaslighters like to say that you’re not being “you”, especially if it’s a toxic family member. :S
Wow! I’m sorry the person said that to you. That’s definitely a gaslight phrase, girl! But keep in keeping on and let the person go. I like your blog and so do so many others. 💖💖💖
Thank you so much, Cherie. <3
You’re most welcome! 💖
I shouldn’t have done this but checked out their blog & they wrote a post about the exchange. 😂🙈 It’s kinda creepy. Oh well what can you do?
Wow! That IS creepy, Sara. But the fact that they’re posting about it lets you know that you were dealing with a drama queen/king.
That’s a very good point. 😅🙈
😊😊😊
Great list of phrases! Very useful to recognize someone is gaslighting you! <3
Thank you so much, Cheryl! 😊