5 Terrible Outcomes of Being Targeted for Bullying

Bullying and life – pictured as a word Bullying and a wrecking ball to symbolize that Bullying can have a bad effect and can destroy life, 3d illustration

As a survivor of bullying, people often ask me, “What’s the worst thing about being bullied?” Here are my answers:

1. It’s the pinned up fear and rage you feel but don’t dare show. It’s the paralyzing social fear that sets in. It shuts you down and leaves you withdrawn from the rest of the world. Once people have bullied you for so long, you become intensely paranoid and suspicious of every person you meet. Any laughter you hear, you automatically think, is directed at you.

2. It’s the confusion. You know that you should take a stand against the bullies. You know that you should speak out about it, only you don’t know how to do it, and you’re terrified that it will only make things worse.

3. It’s the unanswered questions that play in your mind a thousand times a day. “Why me?” “What have I done to these people” “How do I fix this?” are the questions you have in your head every time bullies surround you and harass you. You know what you want to say to the bullies. “Look! Leave me the &%$# alone!” you scream inside your head but don’t’ dare say it because you know what’s likely to come next.

4. It’s the feeling of loneliness and isolation. When we suffer bullying, not only do bullies smear us to keep us isolated and from making any new friends, but we- WE automatically put up walls of protection to keep other people out, which only reinforces the separation from others.

5. It’s the loss of your entire personhood. You forget how to smile, laugh, and have a good time and how to connect with and interact with others. You’re no longer that vibrant, happy, and healthy person you once were. And each insult, each back-biting rumor, each physical attack, each joke, and each prank cuts a little deeper, chips away at your self-esteem, and brings you lower. You feel trapped. You feel as if your bullies are holding you hostage!

Bullies can ruin a target’s life! And they can alter your entire life if you don’t make the changes needed to take your life back.

I won’t kid you. To get out of the hole that your bullies have forced you into, you will have to work hard.

You’ll first need to get out of that environment (if possible), then focus on healing, and lastly, change your entire mindset, which means altering your thought patterns, your attitude, and your whole demeanor. And this change won’t happen overnight but may take years.

However, you must be patient and put in the work and time to take back your confidence and happiness. But I promise you, it will be worth it in the long run, and you’ll be so glad you put in the time and effort!

With knowledge comes empowerment.

31 thoughts on “5 Terrible Outcomes of Being Targeted for Bullying

  1. The feeling of loneliness gets real terrible sometimes for those who are victims. Tremendously terrible outcomes, as you said.
    P. S. Would love it if you could do a post on online bullying.
    Thanks

  2. Yes, bullying leaves such a long shadow in our life. Some can never walk out of it. How sad. And when the family you grow up in bullies you, what can you do? You have to survive and it takes a lot to survive and permanently scarred.

  3. The employer I retired from, I learned much. Basically, if something bothered a person, others would be sure to use it against you. It seemed like bullying, but in a way, it was instrumental in learning how to deal with others.

    A boss named Robert, being introduced to another boss as Bob, replied “Not Bob, Robert”. From that day forth, everyone in the plant called him Not Bob. Everyone. Including Bosses.

    They also did a thing at work, I actually found it described on a Google Document from years ago, of putting a Cup on someone’s Hardhat while they were wearing it, and the unwritten rule was no one was to tell them. In more modern times, the cups were Decorated with Ear Plugs to give them eyes, a nose, mouth, and sometimes ears. Cupping was done, according to the Google Document, to bring people down a notch, implying they were thinking they were better than the masses. I was cupped, at a point when I was giving a talk to 2 shops, one shop laughed, my shop didn’t. Finally, someone from my shop broke the code of silence and told me of the cup.

    See on YouTube: Miller Cupping Incident 2

    I had red hair, braces, freckles, and wore glasses, I was the brunt of all jokes growing up. I think you can become hardened to such things, and I agree, it puts off other relationships too. But value any relationship that exists (I’m talking friends). One man, and I, would periodically have a dispute, words were said, but he (or I) would offer a handshake in apology, and he once said that he didn’t want to lose me as a friend. Another time I nearly said something very painful to him, but at the last moment, sealed my lips. At first, he wouldn’t shake, but then he shook my outstretched hand. We shouldn’t burn bridges, appreciate the people that appreciate you, and learn to let at least some things pass without feeling hopeless or bullied.

    See, on YouTube, be sure the first is the Video with Relevant Scenes not just him speaking:

    THIS IS WATER! by David Foster Wallace

    Powerful video Can’t explain it just watch

    The two videos above offer an alternate way to look at situations. About 3/4 way through “This is Water” describes the things I learned from working in the place where they would exploit weaknesses just for fun, yet I enjoyed my workplace more when I lived with it as it is.

  4. Its so hard when you are isolated to know the cause since they so often convince you you are the problem.. I’ve only begun to shed that finally in the last few months and I cannot believe how sweet it tastes to know happiness again but honestly my heart goes out to those still stuck there sucking up crap that was never theirs to take on.

  5. Cherie girlfriend, Number 5 is the kicker – It’s the loss of your entire personhood. It ain’t worth it. Yes, your confidence and happiness may take some time to heal, but you can’t give up or give in to their warped antics. Another great session Dr. Cherie!!! 👩🏼‍⚕️🙏🏼👨🏼‍⚕️

  6. This hits the sport so hard! Thank you for sharing.
    I wish I were strong enough already to say I’ve finally beaten my bullies. But I’m working on it which I believe is a good journey to be on. I finally am not at the point of defeat anymore… 😊
    Thank you for sharing this Cherie!

    Have a lovely Easter 🐰 🐣 🐇

  7. Pingback: I had to Share! Cherie White Blog Post – Stella Reddy's Story

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