15 Stages of Bullying and How It Progresses

Bullying is a process.

1. Bullies search for a target.

2. Bullies groom the potential target

3. A target is selected.

4. Bullies signal to bystanders that the target is ripe for bullying.

5. Bystanders are encouraged to join in the torment and unite with the bullies against the selected target.

6. Bystanders then become bullies themselves.

7. The target is involved in many physical fights in trying to defend themselves and gets labeled by teachers and staff as the troublemaker.

8. Bullies and bystanders go home and tell their parents and family members what a terrible person the target is.

9. The parents and family members of the bullies and bystanders go to work or the supermarket and relay the stories about the target to coworkers and friends- stories they were told by their children, grandchildren, younger siblings or cousins, nieces or nephews that this target is a terrible person.

10. The coworkers, friends, and extended family members then pass what theyโ€™re told to their families and word of the targetโ€™s perceived evilness or craziness spreads throughout the entire community.

11. The targetโ€™s reputation is destroyed.

12. The targetโ€™s opportunities for love, friendship, jobs, careers, etc. are either limited or lost.

13. The target either commits suicide or leaves town to pursue a better life.

14. The target who relocates finally gets a fresh start and reinvents himself.

15. The target rebuilds his/her life, begins to flourish, and creates a better life for themselves.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

12 thoughts on “15 Stages of Bullying and How It Progresses

  1. This is really enlightening, Cherie. I’ve never considered this aspect of bullying before. I can see now how this happens so quickly. I’d like to think there would always be at least one person I could trust to stand alongside me, but I guess that’s not necessarily so if the bullies have ‘played their game’ by their own rules. I’m a little confused about points 13 and 14. Committing suicide will end the bullying abruptly, as will leaving town. But wouldn’t that too be letting the bullies win (as in chase you out of town or out of the world – literally) even if, assuming you’re still alive, you build a new life for yourself? In my situation, when I was being bullied as a child and as an adult, I wasn’t physically or geographically able to leave the place I was in order to escape. What would have been the best way of tackling this problem? I’d value your advice. Many thanks. Ellie xx ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’•

    • You’re absolutely right, Ellie. Committing suicide is NOT the answer to bullying problems and in no way was I ever suggesting anyone do that. No way! The bullies do win if you resort to such measures. However, if you can’t leave town, I’d suggest writing about it. In writing about it, you get so much off your chest AND you have records of it just in case you have to take legal action in the future. I’ll definitely post more about the importance of writing about it or “documenting” it in the future, sweetie. Know that I’m always here for you and that I care! Sending lots of love your way! ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒบ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜˜

  2. This is really how evil and cruel the world we live in is today.

    What av learnt from your post today, is to never participate in rumors minus getting the facts. And since getting the facts isn’t always straight forward, then it’s better to keep quiet after hearing a rumor no matter how ‘juicy’ it may sound. For it’s really true when they say that it’s better to think that a guilty person is innocent than to accuse an innocent man of being guilty.

    Of the two, the later is cruel.

    May God continue to guide you on this noble cause of spreading awareness ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฟ

    • You’re so right, Jermena!

      And I especially love this part of your comment:
      “For itโ€™s really true when they say that itโ€™s better to think that a guilty person is innocent than to accuse an innocent man of being guilty. Of the two, the later is cruel.”

      How true that is!

      Thank you so much! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน

  3. I really love how factual you are in this one and express what to expect. It makes perfect sense and itโ€™s such a shame at the same time!

    • Thank you so much, LaShelle! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน This means a lot, sweetie! It’s my hope that you and whoever else who reads this puts it to good use in any event that theyโ€™re targeted.

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