5 Signs You’re “Too Nice”

bullied victim too nice sappy too much sugar

Too much sugar is never good because it doesn’t only eat away at your teeth, it eats away at your self-esteem and your life. In a world with so many evil people, it isn’t wise to be a pushover because too nice equals no backbone and no boundaries.

And there will be many people who’ll take your kindness for being a fool. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of you.

Be kind, yes. But don’t be “nice.”

Here are signs that you’re too danged nice:

1. You tolerate crappy behavior from people.

And because of it, others think you’re pathetic.

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2. You over apologize.

You apologize for things that aren’t your fault and that you have nothing to do with. Keep this up and others will find it too easy to lay guilt trips on you whenever it is that you can’t give them what they want. They will blame you for the tiniest of things because they know that you’ll bow down and take the blame. Apologies should only be given when they’re warranted. Here are 8 things you should never apologize for.

3. You end up a slave to the whims of others.

You bend over backward to take care of everyone else and often, they don’t appreciate it. They only demand more of you. You always feel tired and exhausted because you’re so busy pleasing others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

4. You say yes when you really want to say no.

You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off, so against your better judgment, you say yes rather than no. Here’s an example: You’re dog tired and want to go to bed, then someone shows up at your door at eleven o’clock at night with a problem!

They need help and you passively agree to help them with or solve their problem. What’s really bad is that this person has done this many times before. What you should do is tell this person to take a walk. These types of people should never darken your door at such a ridiculous hour!

You’ll also rescue people from bad situations that are self-inflicted. You’re an enabler.

5. You take on others’ moods.

Instead of refusing to let some Negative Nancy get you down, you let their funky moods rub off on you. Not good!

Understand that the reason some people are too nice is that they feel they’re not enough. They feel they have no right to say no to anything- that they don’t deserve to take care of themselves. And it’s because they’re terrified of conflict.

They want to be approved of, liked, and loved and feel that the only way to do it is to bust ass for others. Sadly, the opposite usually results because people lose respect for you! No one respects a pushover!

bootlicker suck-up kiss ass kiss butt

Unfortunately, most don’t realize all of this until they reach your limit and get fed up! But you don’t have to waste years of your life being a doormat if you follow the guidelines below:

1. Never put up with shabby treatment.

Life’s too short for that. You must stand up for yourself when someone violates a boundary, whether it be physical or psychological. Realize you deserve to be treated well and you deserve it just as much as the next person. Always speak up for yourself.

2. Stop apologizing so much.

Realize that some things don’t warrant an apology. And standing up for yourself and saying no are only two of those things.

bullied victim walked on doormat

3. It’s okay to put yourself first.

Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have enough energy to take care of others.

4. Again. Say no if you don’t want to or don’t feel like fulfilling a request.

Don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t want to do something or don’t feel like doing it.

5. As difficult as it might be, don’t let the moods of others around you affect your mood.

If you have a Debbie Downer who is always negative, there’s nothing wrong with calling them out on it or staying away from them. Whatever you do, don’t try to rescue them or argue with them. It won’t work.

bullied victim doormat

Sometimes, taking care of yourself means facing conflict because some people will be selfish and demanding. They won’t be able to see past their own needs and desires.

Never be afraid to stand up for your rights. It’s okay to take care of others. But don’t forget to take a little back for yourself. Only then will people respect you and recognize that you also have feelings and rights.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

21 thoughts on “5 Signs You’re “Too Nice”

  1. Pingback: 5 Signs You’re “Too Nice” – Tonya LaLonde

  2. Such a great article Cherie! This described me “to a tee” at one time. I have improved in area you point out except “taking on the mood of others”. I still struggle in this area, especially with my adult children. I know it’s not healthy for me and it certainly does nothing to help them. Still a “work in progress”! Thanks for reminding me that I can’t be responsible for the mood of anyone else! Wishing you a terrific weekend! Leigh

    • Thank you so much, Leigh! 💖 Believe it or not, I have trouble keeping from taking on the moods of others just like you. I think that’s the hardest! Have a wonderful weekend too, sweetie! 💖💐🌹🌞🦋

  3. This one is spot on. I think part of the problem is it is tragic when being too nice seems to be a fault in today’s society. It is especially hard when you are a person of an Empathy nature, a person of faith, or just a crowd pleaser in general. All of those are good qualities but also in society can cause you to be a victim. I always look at it this way. I should be able to be my true self and be me. No matter how passionate, how high strung, how hyper, maybe even how crazy I may seem at times, lol. Those that truly love me and my true friends except quirky me and I will be the first to admit I have quirks. Anyone that I feel I have to back off is someone I must keep a distance from. That niceness sometimes is seen as weakness by society.

  4. I agree and don’t agree with some of this. As I have gotten older I have matured to the point that I understand that there is a time and place to take a stand. Often times at work or in work environments you are not always able to take the stand that you would like all the time.

    Luckily it seems that the power is changing to the employees more now and if we are not happy with our work situation then it is easier to make a change.

  5. I wish I’d read & taken this in many years ago. still working on not getting upset when people react poorly when I set boundaries — makes me want to have nothing to do with them, when at times it can merely be about accepting that they’re self-centered & pushy, & that I must push back

    • I’m so sorry you’re being treated so badly. Know that you have a right to choose not to have anything to do with these people and that you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

  6. Pingback: Getting Rid of the Urge to People-Please - Chateau Cherie

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